i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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