how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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