Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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