I can tuck mytits in my pants
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
