Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
