Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
