we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize