At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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