Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize