What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
