watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
