Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize