Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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