"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
