Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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