My nipple is on Facebook.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
