i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
