this beer tastes like vomit already
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
