I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
