i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
