Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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