And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
