I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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