I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
