i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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