It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
