saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize