Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
