btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
