what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
