we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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