Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
