I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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