My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
