He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
