brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I will pee on everything he values.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
