Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
