College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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