How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
