atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
