y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
