This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
