standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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