she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
