did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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