I think I died a long time ago.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
