yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Randomize
