So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
