I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
