if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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