she was so not down for the gang bang
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
