it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
