Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
