They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
