can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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