handjob tips. give me some.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
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