my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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